Realisation
by Life-Could-Be-This
Summary: When something that's still alive is buried in a shallow dump, its first instinct is to claw its way or, you know, hope that the rancid smell would attract curious passer-bys. That's about what happened to Charles' denial regarding his feelings for Eric.


_**Realisation**_

**Disclaimer: **anything you recognize_ - _I don't own.

**Rating:** T

**Summary:**_ When something that's still alive is buried in a shallow dump, its first instinct is to claw its way or, you know, hope that the rancid smell would attract curious passer-bys. That's about what happened to Charles' denial regarding his feelings for Eric._

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><p>The first time Charles Xavier noticed there could be something more to his friendship with his fellow mutant Eric Lensherr, the fleeting suspicion was quickly shot down – dead.<p>

Or, more accurately, what Charles had in his haste deemed dead, buried and quite forgotten. To be fair that seemed to be the case, if one was kind enough to over look a brief _what-the-fuck's-happening-inside-my-head_ freak-out. However, when something with even a ounce of breath left in them is buried in shallow dump, the first instinct is to claw their way out or, you know, hope that the rather rancid smell would attract some curious passer-bys.

That, to Charles Xavier's at the moment still happy obliviousness, happened here as well. That meaning the thoughts about his supposed best friend, featuring said friend in a decidedly x-rated way, returned.

And it wasn't just once, no since that could've been labelled as a unfortunate occurrence resulting from a over active imagination and too much time spent in other peoples minds. (That had of course happened strictly because he needed training, not because he was fond of snooping. Obviously.)

So twice equalled denial, but when confronted with the urge to find out just how soft Eric's lips were whenever Charles was in the other's company forced the point across rather splendidly.

Charles Xavier was lusting after his best friend and going by the general feel of things likely to end up head over heels in love with the same friend.

That realisation brings us Charles Xavier current predicament of how to, in a casual and non friendship damaging way, find out Eric's feeling regarding himself. (Plan B, formed in case of unfavourable result, how to change previously discussed feelings.)

At this point Charles had abandoned the previous habit of meeting Eric after dinner in the library for a relaxing game of chess. Relaxing because neither of them were particularly skilled at playing and it gave ample opportunity to spend time together.

This deviation of a comfortable routine did not go unnoticed by Eric. Charles did, however, manage to escape all questioning by hiding behind teaching and, well, simply hiding behind solid objects.

This went on successfully until once it didn't.

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><p>Charles was in the middle of congratulating himself over a once again successful avoidance manoeuvre when he heard the ominously loud click of a key being turned in the lock. Quickly realising that his hasty retreat had brought him into the cigar room (the old-fashioned sanctuary for gentlemen from the clutches of the fairer sex) and subsequently into a dead end. Somehow Charles was willing to bet his entire fortune that the other person in the room, his captor, was the same person he had been running away from.<p>

"Eric" Charles turned around cautiously and fixed a bright smile on his face aiming for a look of befuddled innocence. "Fancy seeing you here, didn't take you for a smoker but each to his own, eh?"

Chancing a glance at his friend, Charles was met with an impassive stare. _Got to lay it a bit more thickly then; what's a perfectly reasonable reason to dash around the house like a chicken without a head? _

"Myself, I'm just looking for a particular book, can't quite remember where I left it... Well, it isn't here, so that narrows it somewhat, if you'll move a little and I'll continue the search somewhere... else?" Charles made some vague hand gestures to get Eric to move aside, which turned out to be relatively ineffective.

Eric widened his stance and crossed his arms over his chest while raising a sceptical eyebrow at the Englishman. Charles' eyes darted around only to confirm his earlier assumption, no exits in sight unless he wanted to dive out of a second-story window. Seems like it would have paid off to be Sean.

"I would love to stay and chat, really" Charles widened his eyes for extra effect, "but that book, terribly important you see."

Charles stepped around Eric and slid behind him to open the door. There, freedom within reach, just a key turn away!

A key which was being particularly uncooperative today. A half minute of desperate wrenching later Charles had a epiphany: key made of metal and a metalbender who would rather the key did not move equalled a key that wouldn't budge. However, desperate times call for desperate measures, the door was wood so breaking it down in a rush of adrenaline wasn't so far fetched, now was it?

A pair of hands descending onto the door in periphery of his vision was the only warning Charles got before he could feel a warm breath on his neck from Eric's amused chuckle which served to paralyse him completely.

"Charles" another delicious gust of warm air sent a small shiver down Charles' spine, "why are you running away every time I come into the room? Am I to gather you've been looking for this _particular_ book for the past week, hm?"

Charles leaned forward into the door partly to ground himself and partly to get away from that too tempting mouth that was the source of those caressing breaths on his neck. It all felt too good.

"It was another book then" Charles blurted, "you know I'm a real scatterbrain, can't keep track of anything! And I'm not running away, I'm merely browsing in a systematic manner. It's not my fault the house is so bloody huge!"

Charles could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, why hadn't he been a delinquent teen and learned how to lie properly?

"Another _particular_ book?" Charles didn't have to see Eric's face to know that a amused smirk now adorned it. "Why does it feel like you're lying to me, Charles?"

Charles opened his mouth to rebuke Eric but was only able to emit a strangled squeak when Eric's hand caressed his nape lightly, slowly twining his fingers into the soft strands of Charles' hair. This wasn't fair, Charles couldn't even being to form a coherent response – he just wanted to melt into the gentle ministrations.

Wait a minute, Eric was doing this out of his own free will without any prompting from Charles. And this was decidedly more than friendly behaviour.

"Eric" Charles said a little breathlessly, "what are you doing?"

"Oh, I thought that was rather obvious" the hand stopped the caressing and settled more firmly on Charles' neck. "I'm keeping you in place, since you have an unfortunate habit of escaping. I think it's working splendidly, wouldn't you agree?"

Charles snorted derisively. _Someone's having way too much fun right now._

"So now that I have you securely in one place, I think it's time for you to explain, my _friend_" Eric voice was silky but that last word broke the spell it had weaved upon Charles.

Friend. That's what they were; friends. _Was he willing to risk all they had?_

Charles turned around to face Eric and in the process put his weight against the door in an effort to create space between them. He needed the distance to be able to think clearly, to have some semblance of control intact.

"W-well" Charles made the mistake of looking into Eric's eyes, the icy blue orbs trained intently on him. He couldn't turn his gaze away, heat creeping back into his face. "There is a book, now, wasn't before really... You see, I've had a lot to think about lately, feeling a bit confused and that makes it harder to control my _gift_... and that makes everything harder!"

Charles averted his eyes and wetted his lips lightly, he felt uncomfortable and cornered. Charles knew what he wanted to do but for the first time in his life he didn't know what to do about it.

"So just having a lot on my mind..." The sentence trailed off slowly since Charles knew he was this close to start rambling uncontrollably.

"You're confused, you say. And I'd wager it has something to do about me since it's me you're avoiding" Eric picked apart the one thing that mattered in Charles' answer and drawn the right conclusion.

There was a beat of silence. Charles could hear his blood rushing through his veins but he wouldn't say anything.

"Confused about me, about my character? No, I don't think so" Eric's voice was low and Charles leaned his head forward out of reflex. "You understand me, you may not agree with me but you do understand. I think, it's that you are confused about yourself in relation to me. Charles, is that what this is about?"

Charles swallowed audibly and met Eric's eyes. He looked intense but serene, nothing like Charles was feeling and for a brief moment he was tempted to look into Eric's mind and know for sure.

But Charles wouldn't.

"I... Well yes, I guess you could..." Charles trailed off, if one was to do something, might as well do it properly.

Steeling his resolve Charles lifted his hands to grab Eric's neck and pulled the man down to his level fusing their lips together.

_Clanck!_

What followed was not the wondrous first kiss described in every romance novel (of which Charles owned not even a single copy, thank you very much). Both pulled slightly from the unpleasant collision of teeth and lips, but since Charles was a firm believer in that repetition is the key to knowledge, he dove right in again.

This time Charles had time to appreciate the chapped but soft lips pressed gently against his. The closeness coupled with Eric's musky scent was enough for Charles to feel quite giddy, but an experimental flick of his tongue brought moisture between their lips and, oh, the smooth slide of lips against lips was so much better.

Eric's hand had slipped to the small of Charles' back and was pressing him even closer, while the other hand was tilting his head just so. Smooth and languid, a slow-burning fire and Charles couldn't help the moan that escaped him.

A smile was evident on Eric's when he puled away with a final peck on Charles' lips. An answering was forming on Charles' face, bright and hopeful.

"I think" a lazy smile stretched on Eric's lips while his eyes sparked merrily, "that I need to see this _particular_ book of yours if this what happens every time it's on your mind."

Charles spluttered awhile a red dusting adorning his cheeks before Eric took his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. The smile was still on his face but the cool eyes were serious.

Charles took a step towards Eric, keeping their hands joined. The warmth was comforting and Charles could feel himself relax, letting go of the constant control he exercised around people. His mind brushed lightly against Eric's, lapping at the feelings he received: contentment, warmth and desire, projecting his own in turn.

There, without words, they knew were they stood, beside each other and joined.

**A/N:** Comments are welcome and cheers for getting this far!


End file.
